The Importance of Being Cautious
by tinylexie
Summary: Lucius and Bellatrix have to retrieve some important documents from the Head Auror's office during the First Wizarding War. What could possibly go wrong? Not romance.


**Author's Note****: This occurs sometime during the First Wizarding War.  
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**This is not meant to be taken too seriously. The main purpose of this fic was for me to have an excuse to write some Lucius/Bellatrix bantering. Lucius and Bellatrix may be slightly OCC.**

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><p>Lucius didn't know why Bellatrix had to come with him. He would have preferred to have anyone but Bellatrix. But the Aurors were starting to use more ruthless techniques against the Death Eaters, and it was wise for no one (including a fellow Death Eater) to be alone. That still didn't explain, however, why Lucius had been paired up with Bellatrix.<p>

It was no secret that there was no love lost between Lucius and Bellatrix. In fact, it could be said that they hated each other. They only tolerated each other for Narcissa's sake.

Lucius would have preferred to have Severus with him, but Severus was busy with acting as a spy at Hogwarts. Many of the other Death Eaters were also busy doing other important missions for the Dark Lord.

It wasn't a difficult mission that was expected out of Lucius. All he had to do was to retrieve some important documents from the Head Auror's office. The Dark Lord had placed him in charge of this mission because of his extensive knowledge of the entire Ministry as a whole. Lucius spent a lot of time at the Ministry, after all, carrying out many of his Master's commands through political means.

The documents that Lucius were expected to retrieve pertained to future laws. The Dark Lord was especially interested in what rights the Aurors were going to be granted in regards to how they were allowed to deal with Death Eaters. The Dark Lord was also interested in knowing what information the Aurors had on him and his Death Eaters.

As for Lucius, well, Lucius liked knowing everything, regardless of whether or not it was really his business. According to him, _everything_ was his business.

The Dark Lord had insisted that Bellatrix go with Lucius on this mission. The Dark Lord knew that Lucius and Bellatrix hated each other. Apparently, the Dark Lord had a sense of humor after all.

Lucius and Bellatrix stopped right outside the Head Auror's door. Lucius took a moment to adjust his mask. It was late at night, there weren't many people around at this hour, and both Lucius and Bellatrix had cast a Disillusionment Charm on themselves; but there was still a chance that someone might spot the two Death Eaters.

They couldn't have anyone knowing who they were, even if murder was not on their agenda for this particular night. Then again, knowing Bellatrix, she would probably try to murder the documents that they had been sent to retrieve if she got the chance to do so. Which was why Lucius was with her.

It was still unclear, however, why Bellatrix was with Lucius. Lucius must have done something to upset the Dark Lord. That was the only explanation.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Bellatrix snapped impatiently. "Let's go inside and get those documents already." She reached for the doorknob, only to be stopped when Lucius quickly grabbed her hand. She looked at her brother-in-law in both shock and anger.

"Bellatrix," Lucius sighed, his voice sounding like that of one who was speaking to a small child, "this is the door to the _Head Auror's_ office. Do you honestly think that it's going to be unlocked?"

"That's what _Alohomora_ is for, Lucius."

"I repeat, this is the door to the Head Auror's office. He is not a complete idiot. Do you really think he is going to allow his door to be opened with a simple _Alohomora_? No, Bellatrix, he is going to have jinxes on this door. We must get rid of them first before we can enter his office."

"Oh, stop being so fussy, Lucius. There is nothing to worry about." Bellatrix yanked her hand away from Lucius and turned the doorknob. The door opened with no protest. "See," Bellatrix said smugly, "we didn't even need to use _Alohomora_. So much for the Head Auror not being a complete idiot."

Before Lucius could stop her, Bellatrix strolled into the office as if she owned it. Lucius rolled his eyes, but he did not follow his sister-in-law. Instead, he drew his wand and began to perform some nonverbal incarnations.

Bellatrix suddenly screamed.

"Did you just get caught up in a jinx?" Lucius called out in a clear "I told you so" voice. "Do you need my help?"

"Oh, stop enjoying yourself so much, Lucius," Bellatrix cried out in a loud, angry voice, "and get me out of this thing!"

"One moment. I'm not yet done checking for other jinxes."

"I'm warning you, if you don't get me out of here, Lucius-"

"You're going to do what, Bellatrix?" Lucius sneered. "From the sounds of it, you are quite trapped in there. Can you do any spells?"

"I can't even move."

"Yet your mouth works just fine," Lucius muttered. "Perhaps you are right, after all. Perhaps the Head Auror really is an idiot."

"I heard that first part."

"You were meant to hear that."

"Will you hurry up already?"

"Will you shut up for a minute?"

"When I finally get out of this, I'm going to kill you, Lucius Malfoy."

"And if you don't start being nicer to me, I'm going to just leave you there for the Head Auror to find tomorrow." Lucius was now quite enjoying himself. "I wonder how he would react to having a Death Eater in his office."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, yes, I would. In fact, I think I'll be leaving now. Have fun at Azkaban, Bellatrix."

"All right, all right," came Bellatrix's voice, with notably less hostility, "I'm sorry for not listening to you, Lucius, about the jinxes on the door. But really, you can't just leave me here. I'm _Narcissa's_ sister. You know who Narcissa is, right? She's your wife, remember? Your wife who you love dearly."

"I can't believe you're actually using that. You really must be desperate."

"Maybe a bit. Now, are you going to get me out of here or not?"

"Give me a moment. I'm still checking for other jinxes."

"How much longer is that going to take?"

"Such impatience. Isn't that how you got yourself stuck in this predicament in the first place?"

"You are really enjoying yourself way too much, Lucius Malfoy."

"I won't deny that."

Lucius finally finished casting all his jinx-detention spells. He then walked into the office, where he was greeted by the sight of Bellatrix's back in the middle of the room.

Lucius waved his wand, checking to make sure that there weren't any jinxes in the room itself. As soon as he was satisfied that the office was jinx-free, he walked over to Bellatrix, who was held frozen in place by the jinx. Lucius allowed himself a smirk as he met her angry face. Bellatrix had never intimidated him, which was one of the reasons why she hated him so much.

"May I be of assistance to you?" Lucius asked in mock politeness.

"I am going to make you suffer for this, Lucius Malfoy," Bellatrix snarled dangerously.

"If you are going to continue to threaten me, then I'm going to just leave you here," Lucius replied in a casual voice. "Narcissa will get over it. She loves me more than she loves you."

"All right, all right, I'm sorry. I should not be threatening you."

"That was really hard for you to say, wasn't it?"

Bellatrix gritted her teeth, but she didn't respond.

"Well, I'm glad that you're being _reasonable_ now," Lucius commented. "But in case you are still entertaining thoughts of murdering me as soon as I free you, don't forget that I'm _Narcissa's_ husband. You know who Narcissa is, right? She's your sister, remember? Your sister who you want to keep happy. She can get pretty scary when she doesn't get her way. You do know that, right?"

"I'm not going to do anything to you, Lucius," Bellatrix snapped. "Just get me out of here already."

Lucius waved his wand and performed some nonverbal incarnations. "Okay," he said, "I know which jinx was used on you."

"Can you undo it?" Bellatrix asked impatiently.

"The Head Auror definitely has some skill," Lucius commented casually, "This really is some amazing spell-work."

"Can you undo it or now?"

"Patience, my dear Bellatrix, patience. Yes, I will be able to undo it. Fortunately for you, I'm rather good at these types of things. It will just take me a few minutes."

"Well, hurry it up."

"I'm going as fast as I can."

"I seriously doubt that."

"Are you calling me a liar, Bellatrix? I'm hurt."

"You're not capable of hurting."

"Your words are like knives, Bellatrix, I have to give you that. Now will you shut up for a few minutes? I'm still taking it into consideration to just leave you here."

"I'll make sure to tell the Aurors all about you, and you'll be in the cell next to _mine_."

"That is a very unpleasant image. But have you never heard of the Memory Charm?"

"Lucius Malfoy," Bellatrix hissed through her teeth.

"And you're Bellatrix Lestrange. Good, now we know each other. There, it's done. You're free now."

"Thank you so much," Bellatrix said with mock gratefulness as she stretched her limbs. "You are my _hero_, Lucius Malfoy."

"Oh, you don't have to go that far. It really was nothing."

"Let's just find those documents, so that we can leave," Bellatrix snarled. She walked over to the Head Auror's desk, which was covered with numerous pieces of parchment.

Bellatrix, however, didn't touch anything. Instead, she stopped and turned to look at Lucius. "Well, go on, Mr. Brains Of This Operation. Find those documents for us."

"You're worried about more jinxes, aren't you?"

"And you should be worried about _me_."

"Charming as always, Bellatrix. All right, give me a moment. I can't believe it, the Head Auror actually kept the documents that we're looking for on his desk. _I_ would have at least put them in a drawer."

"Well, maybe he wasn't expecting for a couple of Death Eater to just come strolling in here," Bellatrix said with a false sweet smile. "Just be glad that it's simple, Lucius. Why does everything have to be difficult for you anyways? You always have to overcomplicate things."

"Well, I find simple to be boring," Lucius drawled. He checked the documents for jinxes before pulling out some blank parchment from his robe's pocket.

Lucius waved his wand, and the words on the Head Auror's documents began to copy themselves onto Lucius's blank parchment.

"Oh, how clever," Bellatrix spoke in mock praise.

"We don't want the Head Auror knowing that we were in here."

"Oh, thank you for telling me that, Mr. Obvious. I would have never figured that out by myself."

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Okay, it's done. We can go now."

"That's the best news I've heard all night."

Bellatrix followed Lucius out of the room. Lucius used his wand to shut the door, and he then used his wand to reset the jinx that had been on the door.

"Are we good yet?" Bellatrix asked impatiently. "Can we leave now?"

"Bellatrix, Bellatrix, your impatience will be the death of you one day. Oh, well, some people never learn. But yes, we can leave now. And trust me, I'm just as happy as you are about that news."

"I must have done something to upset the Dark Lord," Bellatrix muttered as they began to make their way out of the Ministry. "That is the only explanation for this."


End file.
